Relocation Strategy: When Someone You Love Is Moving   by Cathy Goodwin

Your best friend moves a thousand miles, your aunt retires or your brother’s family gets transferred. They’re moving from Boise to Boston and you live in San Diego.

Moving is traumatic and you want to help, yet you may not know what you can do. Don’t be shy. Your friend needs you.

First, before they move, Kindle their enthusiasm by finding positive things to say about the destination city. Even when people are looking forward to a relocation, they always feel a little queasy. They desperately want reassurance.

Even if you think they’re moving to the worst place on the planet, find something to cheer about. You can say thngs like, “There is so much to do in that city and everything will be close by.” Or, “You will be near the beach! I am so jealous.” Or, “You will be living in the country. You can have a big dog.”

Do you fear they’re making a mistake? During the exploratory stage, you can send them information from the Internet. You might be able to recommend someone who’s actually lived there.

But once they’re committed, you have to find ways to be positive. It’s like talking to someone who’s getting married. Before they’re engaged, you want to be frank. Once they set the date, it’s a love feast.

Give gifts that make the transition easier. Ideally, look up shopping opportunities in the new city. Order gift certificates that can be redeemed after your friend moves. This gift has two benefits. First, everybody needs a lot of things after a move. And second, you encourage them to get out and explore the community.

When your friend is new to a community, she won’t have friends yet and she won’t want to burden her old friends with her fears and anxieties. Give the gift of growth: a certificate to pay for a few sessions with a coach.

Use the telephone (not just email). Call on packing day and moving day. Call when your friend is due to arrive in his new home. Send letters and cards, which will be more tangible than e-mail. Your friends will be lonely, whether or not they admit it.

When you visit your friend’s new place, help your friend see what’s good: “Terrific shopping.” “No traffic!” Many newcomers begin to appreciate their home only after they see it through the eyes of someone else.

But if your friend really hates his new home, don’t be judgmental. Some places really are toxic to some people. You might enjoy living there, but right now, you don’t have to.

About the Author

And now I invite you to find out more by visiting
Manage Relocation Stress . Discover how to deal with the stress and hassle of moving, so you transform your relocation hassles into a meaningful life transition.
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